oh hey.

it is friday night. clearly i don't have anything better to do than blog....or else i would be doing it. as you have noticed i have not blogged in sometime. ok a full year. judge me. i've been busy. also. i am boring so really i did you a favor. i mean right now i am just rambling. sorry.

the point. my friends are mostly married. they are even having children. i get annoyed with children..well some of them. and mostly when they come into work (i work at a jewelry store) and rub their hands and noses all over the freshly windexed glass. i hate windexing the glass. (yes i just turned windex into a verb). anyway. this is not a good sign for me. sorry. i am venting to this blog. like i said ...my friends are married. all i have left is my cynicism that i like to mistake for wit and this blog. ok maybe that was an exaggeration. i have some books too...all i need now is a cat. ha.

so. the reason for the vent. a once good friend of mine is getting married. to an ex roommate of mine. we weren't exactly buddy buddy. she talked on the phone in the bathroom. clearly she can't be trusted. that is weird. but overall she is a really great person. and i am happy for them. no really. super happy. i think the problem is i might be slightly jealous. then i remember i can do whatever i want whenever i want. i am free. free fallin if you will. or so tom petty believes. however i was listening to my good friend landon pigg who says that not being tied down isn't the same as being free. which i get as well. i mean. lame. i am quoting landon pigg. but the teenage man has a point.

so. basically i'm in trouble because for the first time i know what i want...to go to law school, to go on some study abroads, to travel and experience life and all fun things I IIIII want to do. focus on I. selfish? yes please. BUT at the same time. I know i would like to get married. which is slightly scary and hard for me to admit. would i like to fall in l-o-v-e? (it seems less intense when it is spelled out) i believe so. even now i can't commit. i mean who am i kidding i can't even commit to a city. i guess to go back to song references i am ..perfectly lonely. i am content and happy with myself but also have the nagging realization that yes indeed. a relationship would be great..superb even.

THAT SAID.
i still want to go to law school and travel and do things that are not just following my new l-o-v-e around. holly don't play that game. yes. i'm from atlanta so i get one horrific sentence.

in the words of jim croce...

if you are going my way i'll go with you.